It may seem like joint child custody is the least effective type of child custody agreement for two divorced parents who couldn’t stand each other in their marriage. But it’s simply not true.
In fact, there are millions of couples in America who manage to put their differences and grievances behind them in order to make joint child custody work. Because, at the end of the day, custody is about your kids, not about your past.
Our Thousand Oaks child custody attorney has prepared a list of tips to help two parents sharing child custody cooperate with their ex like a pro, and make the schedule work for them and, most importantly, their children.
Even if you think that your ex is the worst human being on this planet, unless he or she engages in any activities or behaviors that put the safety of your child in danger (in this case, speak to an attorney right away), your ex is a parent, above all.
And the last thing you would want is to make your children suffer as a result of your unnecessary and totally preventable conflicts. You got a divorce for a reason, and that reason is certainly NOT to ruin your child’s life. No matter how tempting it may be to speak poorly about your ex, keep in mind that he/she is the parent of your child, and chances are, your kid loves him/her.
Joint child custody may not always be comfortable for you and it may not allow you to get EXACTLY what you want ALL THE TIME, which is why it’s vital to focus on co-parenting and put your past grievances behind you. After all, you’re working together to create a good childhood for your kids, so the last thing you would want is to get stuck in endless fights that cause a tremendous amount of emotional stress for the child.
So put your ego aside, and remember: joint child custody is not about you. It’s about your children.
Just because you think that your ex is a bad person doesn’t make him/her a bad parent – again, unless you believe that your child is not safe when he/she is around the other parent. In that case, seek legal advice of our best child custody attorneys in Thousand Oaks to alter your child custody agreement and get a restraining order.
If you agreed to a certain schedule, stick to it and make it work. Don’t attempt to prevent your ex from seeing your child out of fear of insecurity or just because you’re greedy or refuse to believe that your ex can do a good job at raising your child.
Unless you have a compelling reason to believe that the current joint child custody agreement has a negative impact on your child – or that your ex is a bad parent overall – you should try to make the child custody schedule work. However, do be realistic about your schedule and commitments, and don’t plot any power grabs.
Even though you share child custody, you can’t expect a smooth and efficient communication between you. After all, you’ve probably gone through an ugly divorce, and you had quite a few conflicts during your marriage and couldn’t communicate them properly in the first place.
That’s why it’s vital to find an agreeable way to communicate with your ex for the sake of your children. The best way to communicate with your ex when it comes to agreeing to any legal aspects of your child custody is to seek help of a divorce attorney.
Here at Law Offices of Stephanie L. Mahdavi, our best lawyers have helped thousands of divorced parents in Thousand Oaks and all across California to decide on a child custody plan, parent visitation schedule and be able to make co-parenting work.